Turkey Day!

[alittleblackmagic]

[phone, public]
...........the best ..... ever!  Mia, Shiraasan, Canada, come over here and look!  Where are you guys?!  Look, it's trying to pick up the knife, this is so cool, it's like a zombie turkey or something does anyone have like that thing that freezes moments in time so we can look at this again late -- Whoa!  H-Hey, stop -- No, put that down hey no not -- OOOOOWWW how the YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE LIMBS STOP THAT.

MIAAAAA!
DO YOU REMEMBER HOW WE SAID I COULD ONLY BLOW UP THE HOUSE ONCE EVERY FEW WEEKS or so and only when I really had to please please please i really want to blowuptheturkeyitkeepstryin.....

[The voice fades away.  Palom will take calls about his homicidal turkey after a massive explosion resounds through the telephone, though.]

Comments

[bustydefense.livejournal.com]

[Mia yelps and let's go]

WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT SETTING THINGS ON FIRE?

[In other words: HOW IS THIS BETTER?]

[prodigious-mage.livejournal.com]

Now my mouth is free to talk!

[This is true. The turkey is now clamped on firmly by his nose.]

[bustydefense.livejournal.com]

Because that was what I was worried about.

[prodigious-mage.livejournal.com]

WHAT?! I can't hear you! Just get it off my head!

[The fire has mostly burned itself out now as Palom, in his flailiness, closes a hand around something (a fork) and begins to stab at the turkey.]

[bustydefense.livejournal.com]

I'm not touching something that's still burning.

[prodigious-mage.livejournal.com]

Grab hold of a drumstick and bite, Mia!

[Smash. The direction that he thought Mia was in, sadly, was actually the direction the closest wall was in.]

[bustydefense.livejournal.com]

... No.

[prodigious-mage.livejournal.com]

And then you can -- Ow! By node!

[The pulling is really stretching his nose to odd proportions, Mia. Why aren't you helping. =( ]

[bustydefense.livejournal.com]

[Because she doesn't want to be set on fire, and she doesn't want to stab Palom]

Stop moving!

[prodigious-mage.livejournal.com]

[Palom complies by smashing into the door again and falling over. The fire has almost burned out by this point.]

[bustydefense.livejournal.com]

[FACE. PALM.

She slaps the remaining flames with a wet towel. WHAT A MESS.]

[prodigious-mage.livejournal.com]

Mia, I think my face has melted off.

[If it had, he wouldn't sound so nonchalant about it.]

[bustydefense.livejournal.com]

Yes, I'm sure it has.

[HELLO SMALL CHILD LEARN TO SARCASM FROM MOM]

[prodigious-mage.livejournal.com]

Aren't you gonna do anything about it or are you gonna stand there while the turkey eats my face.

[Sarcasm detector not found. Please reboot computer.]

[bustydefense.livejournal.com]

[In response Mia grabs the turkey again and yanks]

[prodigious-mage.livejournal.com]

[And finally, the homicidal turkey pops off, leaving Palom with . . .

Actually those look like some pretty bad scratches.]

Owwwww! Sheesh. I think you pulled off half my skin, too.

[bustydefense.livejournal.com]

My most sincere apologies.

[prodigious-mage.livejournal.com]

[Palom's immediate reaction to being freed is to spring for the knife that the turkey had attempted to use.]

Hyaaaaaaah!

[And stab it straight at the baked fowl.]

[bustydefense.livejournal.com]

[Mia's just going to watch because. wtf.]

[prodigious-mage.livejournal.com]

[Shards of turkey go flying everywhere A few minutes later, Palom is panting with his foot triumphantly on the downed turkey.]

Dinner's served!

[bustydefense.livejournal.com]

... You put your foot on that.

[prodigious-mage.livejournal.com]

It's clean. I just washed up three hours ago.

[bustydefense.livejournal.com]

Yes, and then you walked on the ground.

[prodigious-mage.livejournal.com]

The ground is. Um. Clean, too.

[Actually now it has turkey bits all over it but.]

[bustydefense.livejournal.com]

I'm pretty sure that's not true.