Turkey Day!

[alittleblackmagic]

[phone, public]
...........the best ..... ever!  Mia, Shiraasan, Canada, come over here and look!  Where are you guys?!  Look, it's trying to pick up the knife, this is so cool, it's like a zombie turkey or something does anyone have like that thing that freezes moments in time so we can look at this again late -- Whoa!  H-Hey, stop -- No, put that down hey no not -- OOOOOWWW how the YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE LIMBS STOP THAT.

MIAAAAA!
DO YOU REMEMBER HOW WE SAID I COULD ONLY BLOW UP THE HOUSE ONCE EVERY FEW WEEKS or so and only when I really had to please please please i really want to blowuptheturkeyitkeepstryin.....

[The voice fades away.  Palom will take calls about his homicidal turkey after a massive explosion resounds through the telephone, though.]

Comments

[prodigious-mage.livejournal.com]

Don't you even care that it's attacking me?

[bustydefense.livejournal.com]

Of course I do. But it's a turkey, Palom.

[prodigious-mage.livejournal.com]

A very vicious and mean turk --

[Glomp goes the turkey over Palom's head. There is a muffled scream as Palom begins to smash it into the wall.]

[bustydefense.livejournal.com]

[... Ewww]

STOP!

[Mia rushes over and grabs the turkey herself]

[prodigious-mage.livejournal.com]

Ffmphf fmfmmfd brrmmmph!

[Roughly translated, that means 'this is all your fault for not letting me blow it up Mia gosh look what you did'. In the meantime, Palom is flailing around in Mia's arms.]

[bustydefense.livejournal.com]

[Blowing things up is still NOT THE ANSWER TO EVERYTHING]

Hold still while I pull.

[prodigious-mage.livejournal.com]

[Palom holds still. The gurgling continues, though, a little less coherently if that's possible.]

[bustydefense.livejournal.com]

Push against it.

[prodigious-mage.livejournal.com]

[Palom pushes against it, kicking and flailing.]

[bustydefense.livejournal.com]

[Mia... pulls. No, she is not going to take a knife to it.]

[prodigious-mage.livejournal.com]

[Palom's head pops off.

. . . Kidding, but it might seem that way for a second until Palom lifts up a hand and sets the thing on fire.

Now there is a flaming turkey only half-stuck to his head, joy.]

[bustydefense.livejournal.com]

[Mia yelps and let's go]

WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT SETTING THINGS ON FIRE?

[In other words: HOW IS THIS BETTER?]

[prodigious-mage.livejournal.com]

Now my mouth is free to talk!

[This is true. The turkey is now clamped on firmly by his nose.]

[bustydefense.livejournal.com]

Because that was what I was worried about.

[prodigious-mage.livejournal.com]

WHAT?! I can't hear you! Just get it off my head!

[The fire has mostly burned itself out now as Palom, in his flailiness, closes a hand around something (a fork) and begins to stab at the turkey.]

[bustydefense.livejournal.com]

I'm not touching something that's still burning.

[prodigious-mage.livejournal.com]

Grab hold of a drumstick and bite, Mia!

[Smash. The direction that he thought Mia was in, sadly, was actually the direction the closest wall was in.]

[bustydefense.livejournal.com]

... No.

[prodigious-mage.livejournal.com]

And then you can -- Ow! By node!

[The pulling is really stretching his nose to odd proportions, Mia. Why aren't you helping. =( ]

[bustydefense.livejournal.com]

[Because she doesn't want to be set on fire, and she doesn't want to stab Palom]

Stop moving!

[prodigious-mage.livejournal.com]

[Palom complies by smashing into the door again and falling over. The fire has almost burned out by this point.]

[bustydefense.livejournal.com]

[FACE. PALM.

She slaps the remaining flames with a wet towel. WHAT A MESS.]

[prodigious-mage.livejournal.com]

Mia, I think my face has melted off.

[If it had, he wouldn't sound so nonchalant about it.]

[bustydefense.livejournal.com]

Yes, I'm sure it has.

[HELLO SMALL CHILD LEARN TO SARCASM FROM MOM]

[prodigious-mage.livejournal.com]

Aren't you gonna do anything about it or are you gonna stand there while the turkey eats my face.

[Sarcasm detector not found. Please reboot computer.]